I cannot remember a time in my life that I did not know I was donor conceived. I was raised by the most amazing single mother and never lacked anything, but I was constantly reminded I did not have a dad.
A recipient parent who used a known donor wonders when to introduce their child to the donor.
I was born in London to two mums who used an anonymous sperm donor to conceive me. I was raised knowing my conception story, as it was talked about casually, and all my questions were answered to their best ability as I grew up.
A recipient parent wonders about how and when to connect their child with donor conceived siblings.
I’m sure I said, “It’s actually a ‘donor’ not a father.” I can remember my voice saying, “Our daughter doesn’t have a dad. She has two moms.” But much of that changed for me when I found out about my own donor conception experience.
An intended parent wonders about the pros and cons of choosing a known donor versus an Open-ID-at-18 donor with her wife.
"I joke with people that my first thought was, 'I’ve been diluted.' And as humorous as it may be to joke that finding out I was half white contributed to a sense of identity or cultural 'dilution,' it simultaneously created an incomparable sadness that took years to deconstruct."
Deciding to use donor sperm or eggs is often a result of a fertility complication. In this emotional process, the consideration of how donor conceived people (DCP) will feel about their conception is often overlooked.
If you haven't told your family that you donated sperm or eggs, read this guide.
Guest blog by Peter J. Boni, author of Uprooted: Family Trauma, Unknown Origins, and the Secretive History of Artificial Insemination